Beware of Hipster Bullshit

Bullshit - don't fall for it.

I’m not infallible.

Far from it.

Hell, the very definition of my current occupation as a researcher includes trying lots of new things. Of those things, the majority never work out. So, I try again. And again. And again, until I succeed. Either that, or determine that success is either very unlikely, or would require effort disproportional to whatever there is to gain. In that case, I quit. But I digress.

In short, I do make mistakes.

That been said, I do try to keep my decisions  as informed as feasible. And I’m usually quite good at it, especially when major choices are concerned. I’ve never felt like changing my field of study, or my job, for example. So you won’t be hearing any inspiring survival stories here. Not from me, not in this blog. Sorry.

Indeed, my mistakes are usually of the less critical kind.

Like the block of shaving soap I bought a couple of weeks ago.

You know, the kind you whip into a lather with some water and a brush made from unicorn hair. A least that’s my hypothesis based on the price. This lather you then proceed to apply to your face, and then shave as you normally would.

Although it’s not a mere normal shave. Not according to all the marketing and hype that surrounds all things shave.

You are not using normal shaving cream like some mindless drone, remember? You are using some mint-fragnant soap-concoction with an unit cost higher than gold. You are getting in touch with your primal lumberjack ancestors, ready to wrestle brown bears into submission and build cottages with your bare hands. You are a MAN, with capital everything.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuulshit.

Hipster bullshit, for that matter.

Seriously, don’t buy this stuff. Neither the story, nor the actual soap-stuff.

Just. Don’t.

Nope. Nope nope nope nope.

First of all, it takes forever to whip it into something even remotely consistent enough to not fall off your face. I mean forever. Triple the time you normally use for shaving, and then double that and add some. That long.

But the actual shaving experience must be supreme then, right?

Meh.

It’s okay. It’s somewhat better than your run-of-the-mill medium quality shaving gel you get from the supermarket. But not much. Slightly less friction, if you can actually enjoy it with your entire arm and shoulder girdle numb from the nine thousand years of whipping. And the stuff definitely does smell good.

Now, I’ve written before how even small improvements in your life can have a profound compound influence when put together. That’s true. Maybe, just maybe, a slight scent of mint on top of your normal aftershave might give you the decisive edge on that job interview.  Or make that cute barista agree to a date after all. Or something.

But I doubt. I’ve also written how the majority of any outcome is usually determined by a few core factors. Like shaving in the first place, you know.

I’ve also written about the importance of settling for enough, rather than obsessing about doing everything in your power to be the best. Don’t get me wrong – there is a time and place for extremes. My point simply is that everything should be weighed about its relative importance to you, and the amount of effort required.

And on that continuum using a stupid block of soap is definitely NOT worth it.

Seriously, get any modern shaving foam, gel, or cream of your choice. Modern technology is often there for a reason. It just works better.

Do This Instead

On the other hand, I do recommend getting a nice metal safety razor. Even the cheap-ish ones give you a nice shave, easily on par with the mid-price disposable plastic razors. Of course, matching the output of some 9-blade Gillette monstrosity is hard. The same goes for an actual straight razor, even more so.

However, with a metal razor you don’t have to spend half of your income on a blade-array that you can use exactly once. Neither can you accidentally kill yourself. (Insert whatever-disclaimer here if you want, in case you actually do manage to kill yourself. Luckily, in my country I can’t be sued for that level of stupidity, but that might not stop your next-of-kin from trying.)

Instead, what you have is a single investment of 20 bucks (or euros) or so. After that, the replacement blades cost a few cents apiece, and are good for a couple of shaves each. You won’t get any more wounds either, than you would with a plastic razor.

So, here endeth my warning-slash-rant. Until next time!

-Your friendly neighbourhood lumberjack, Antti

Beware of Hipster Bullshit